Do you have control issues? If you’re shrugging your shoulders saying, “Eh…not really” at a stoplight right now, put your phone down, sister. I will be waiting in the parking lot for you when you’re off the road. It will also give you time to come to Jesus and stop lying to yourself. If you’re on your phone at every stop light, it’s because you probably are a control freak. I heard this from a friend.
This is something I’m working on hard core right now because the fact of the matter is: I am actually in control of very little. I get to choose to be ok with that or to live inside a delusion that it’s not true. So the choice is basically:
- Embrace the wild
- Be delusional
When I put it that way, it seems a little less terrifying to embrace the wild – but only a little.
I can control my thoughts, my words and my actions. That’s it. Show’s over. This is the extent of my domain. We all “know” this is true but few of us behave like it’s true. Some of us even try to use these things we can control to try to gain control over others. That’s sick. But none of us are above this behavior. I bet if you get honest with yourself, you’d see the same thing as I do when I get honest with myself – it hasn’t been that long since you did it.
So I’m learning to take responsibility – TOTAL responsibility - for the things I can control. And I’m learning to let go of every responsibility for what I can’t. I’m learning about boundaries and I’m learning about releasing my unrealistic expectations of other people. I’m also learning to release my unrealistic expectations of myself. This is making me a lot less angry. Anger is what happens when your expectations don’t get met. And personally, most of my expectations on other people stem from my unsaid belief that I can control their responses and behavior if I try hard enough, use the right words or wait for the right time.
Here’s a fun fact: your body feels your emotions. Strongly. The Chinese have taught for centuries that certain organs feel different emotions more strongly than others. This makes sense when you think about it. The seat for anger in Chinese medicine is the liver. The liver is a little champion in there, filtering all of your blood every 15 minutes, regulating cholesterol production, allowing your body to detoxify by producing glutathione…basically keeping you alive. And it struggles when you’re angry. Big time. I’ve been putting Release oil over my liver intentionally and combining it with prayer, meditation, personal development and conversation with good people who have my best in mind. I need that liver to be tip top but for real, I need to get at the root cause of those emotions. I’m diffusing Release through the night also. I want to fall asleep thinking about what I can control, not obsessing over what I can’t. I’ve got my hands full enough with what’s in my own fence – I’m just trying to release everything that’s not.
Back on the road, girlfriend. You got this.
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