When was the last time you felt totally relaxed? Not a care in the world, nothing due, nothing late, nothing broken, nothing missing. At least if those things were present, they weren’t in your brain for a brief moment. Remember that? How long has it been? Those conditions are few and far between - too few and too far between for sanity, in my opinion. We have to find a backup plan, friends.
Tonight, I diffused Stress Away while taking a bath. My house is an actual cluster of madness. My youngest is currently obsessed with “dump it [toy box] out” so that’s about 3 million toys I pick up per day/hour. I always enlist his help but I still end up doing approximately 99.78% of the job. Tonight, I decided I’m done with that mess and all 3 million are strewn about my main level. Walking down the hall to the bathroom requires shoes because legos. My only place of solace and order is my kitchen because I’m still psycho about it. I need one place. I’m not apologizing. I digress...
My house is not peaceful, but I decided to MAKE SOME PEACE in my bathtub tonight. Put the kids down for the night and then retreat to my tub with a glass of red, water hot enough to scald, and my diffuser pumping max amounts of Stress Away blend into the 48 square feet of bathroom space.
Several months ago, I made a commitment to do a better job of taking care of my own head. Self-care was a pipe dream and I didn’t even really understand it. The truth was that I was so obsessed with my own importance that I believed I was the only one capable of keeping my people alive. I believed that no one could do as good of a job at, well anything, than me. And I was living so preoccupied with perfection that I was suffocating myself. And everyone else, I’m sure. So I CLEARLY had no time to think of little old me when everyone else needed me so desperately. What a bunch of bull. Thank God I wised up to the reality that I am actually not that central to the universe and that my problems really aren’t that unique. Therapy works, people. Try it.
The world will keep spinning if I call a time out with a messy house and get in the bath to breathe. My house will not implode if I pour a glass of wine and put on my shoes to walk down the hall for an hour of silence and unwinding. I do not have to create ideal conditions in order to relax. I used to. But that was so stressful. And it meant I never actually did relax. That’s the sneaky part about perfection. The bar keeps getting moved a few more feet forward every time you get close. You always see one more dirty counter, one more shoe out of place, one more piece of trash that needs to be put out, one more paper that needs to be filed. It never ends. So just pause it and take care of yourself. It will all be there when you’re done, but you will be better for it. You will be better for them. And you will be better for you. Let’s take some time…MAKE some time for our own peace, friends. Whatever it looks like for you. Make space for your own care and then put those shoes back on. Because legos.
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